Arrival
If your light glows brightly before, it won't now.
If your mind is as dark as you think, it isn't now.
Everything you were before ends here
You're welcome to stay.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 / 9:33 PM
I'd like to make myself believe that Planet Earth turns slowly
because it has already spun for 16 years from the day I landed on it. Seems like yesterday when I first felt my existence. Maybe it was. Maybe it was yesterday's dream.
I think, somewhere along the way, someone rewired my brains. Then maturity reconfigured my thoughts, then added some. Then puberty tampered with my body, then changed it. But I'm in no rush to sprout into a man. Can I choose?
I realise, I'll never play the lead.
I wonder, are there really second chances?
I surmise, I've gone off my rocker.
I suppose, I'll die at home.
I believe, not slow enough, Earth. At least, just go slow until I'm ready.
Sunday, November 8, 2009 / 9:03 PM
resident fan

i've finally completed resident evil 5 and hell yes it was worth every freaking cent i paid. still i missed dear jill and dear Nemesis.
and of course dear alice from the big screen spin offs.
*her khukuris are to die for
so continues my old time fantasy of the world becoming that of resident evil's. i, however will be the world-saving protagonist (chris redfield) that rescues silly civilians while kicking zombie ass. maybe with my female counterpart (sheva, jill, ada, claire, alice) so it would be less lonely.
now i just have to get back to silent hill: homecoming. alex has been waiting half a year for me to save his brother.
Thursday, November 5, 2009 / 11:10 PM
life and 4i
i think it comes with old age. thinking about life. lately that's all i catch myself doing. life with 4i. life without 4i. life next year. my love life. life after death.
i feel so sad. i feel so empty. suddenly 4i just walked out of my life. and one day life would just walk out of me the same way.
i love all of you so much because literally you're part of my life. it's one of the few things that makes me want to live life over and over again.
and over and over and over and over and over (don't stop) and over
back to thinking about life. sad and empty life. now without 4i.
Friday, October 23, 2009 / 4:44 PM
five days into the week and i'm flopping like a limp penis
no, i didn't have a nice time after exams because
1. i'm embracing my rock-bottom marks
2. i needed an institutional facade (insisted upon)
3. i can't go anywhere without hearing about brassiere
4. the school is asking me (the students, whatever) to save her
5. i have mock exams after the exams
6. next year is reportedly hell
7. i'm becoming fat and ugly and obsolete
8. hopes for a nice time after exams are dashed
No, dearies. No straps peeking out of your blouses. We don't want the males getting hard ons.
no i'm not a slobbering male that preys on Colours of the Bra.
flick flick. flop.
it's a free world and i like wearing my underwear inside out
no place for the totalitarian school
oh it's a free world, it's a free, free world
Saturday, October 17, 2009 / 10:56 PM
Clothes do make the man

then I look at the dowdy rags in my closet
and i sigh.
Loudly.
I wanna have sex with clothes now. Hard and fast and unprotected.
Thursday, October 15, 2009 / 11:29 PM
lone
When time knew it was time, she had to. I knew she would. We were two pawns in a game, and a deviation of happiness. Time spanned our love and hinted there would be End.s. Because you cannot love someone without tiring out. And because you can love someone knowing separation comes one day. Because Love is Blind. So time decided for us when was the End. of love. And time doesn't remember how the last act of passion felt. She packed her bags, staged the last hug and took what's left of my heart with her.
Because Love is Blind. So Life was full of Beginnings and no Ends, and Everything was Forever.
But not love, we learnt. Not time.
Friday, October 9, 2009 / 9:11 PM
Death in 2 years
I was supposed to be up and running around, celebrating and cheering about the impending period to the dreadful exams,
when I opened a letter brought in by my father at 8.14pm today,
informing me that,
"You have reached 161/2 years old and therefore are liable for National Service under the Enlistment Act (Chapter 93).",
which translates into:
"Yes, it's too late to migrate. Haha."
Suddenly, I realised that the world outside there is so big and there's so many things waiting out there for me. It's too early for me to bag all my regrets in a 40kg soldier's backpack and go fulfill my glorious national duty.
Suddenly, I have a list of so many things I want to do before I go.