I don't usually listen to Chinese songs, only the really sad ones. This one's wonderfully sorrowful and relatable. Don't dismiss it just because it's not your language. One can never experience too much sadness.

I guess one day I will come to realise everything means nothing if life's all about chasing and striving to be better than before. But we never learn until it has happened, never happy until we've tried. I need to, because there's nothing left for me to run back to.

Reading about breakups and disappointments just makes me wish all the more never to be entangled in relationships. I need to be free, free from this structured, unrelenting, emotional world. I know I'll be lonely, but in the end everyone is lonely. Concepts of love, trust and friendship are just lies. Lies we indulge in to fool ourselves of our lonely existence. If we accept that we are lonely, then we will never be.

There are only a few people we can love in our lives. I won't die for something as stupid as nationalistic pride, but I will die for family and friends. It's easy because loneliness and death come close in the fray. Sometimes I wonder what is real, what is happiness, why is someone smiling, why I smile as well, why a person lives to die. So I will choose to die meaningfully, because it's the only way.

a little farther
1:57 AM Wednesday, September 21, 2011